waiting

12: 28 pm

eyad's wait is over. he's in their school's chapel right now. attending mass. he's high with excitement because he's going to graduate (finally!) from law school this april.

i am so happy for him. i have witnessed what he has gone through for the past five years. i remember when he told me he wanted to go to law school. i was still on my fourth year in college then. i wasn't very happy that he was going to school. i was extremely selfish when i was younger. i wanted to spend more time with him. that time, we only saw each other once a week. and eyad going to law school meant that we'd see each other less. but i never told him what i thought. i told him to go and be what he wants to be. and law school it was.

his first year in law was the most difficult time for us. i had to adjust to his new schedule. i'm at school from 8 in the morning to 5 in the afternoon and his classes started at 5 in the afternoon and ended at 9 in the evening. we couldn't see each other on weekdays because of our schedule and because i was in the boondocks of upmin and he was in downtown ateneo. we communicated through text messages but i could not expect fast replies from him because he was busy with his reading. although i had to give him credit for making sure that we see eachother once a week. thankfully, we made it through.

his second year wasn't any easier. i had graduated from college and was working in one of the big hotels in our area. and on my way home, i would pass by their school. i would hate that school for stealing my boyfriend from me. it was stupid but that was what i felt. kung naghanap nalang sya ng trabaho after nyang makagraduate ng college, e di sana magkasama kami after work and on weekends. pero hindi. and it hurt me a lot. i was his girlfriend at his convenience and that time, i made sure he knew what i felt.

i was finally able to adjust on his third year. and on the fourth year, i was still his girlfriend at his convenience and i almost ok with everything. waiting (and hurting), i have decided, was the price i had to pay for loving. of course there were days when i had to be with him but could not because of his schedule. or there were times when i was angry with him but i could not tell him because i know he shouldn't carry additional burden because he had a lot of more important things to be worried/ thought about. i had to stretch my patience. i had to be more considerate with his situation. we still made sure that we go out at least once a week.

he became very busy on his fifth year. and it became a problem for us. i felt that i was being taken for granted. graduating was his priority. i was a distraction. but whenever he needed me, i was just a text message away. i would cancel all my appointments because i know he needed me. when he was having a tough time, i was there to lift his spirit.

i called him immediately the moment i received his text message that he's finally graduating this april. he's one step nearer to his dream of becoming a lawyer.

****
4: 52 pm

he went out with his friends to "attend mass, offer thanks giving, visit the pink sisters". he told me three hours ago that he'd meet me somewhere after lunch. i waited and waited but he never came. unfortunately for me, he has forgotten about me.

now that he's going to graduate, he doesn't have any exams to think about. he doesn't have tons of readings to finish. i can finally tell him that i have been waiting for him for almost six years. i've stuck with him through the good and bad times. he has made me wait for a very long time and i have reached my limit. i can't wait for him anymore.